Don't care

I don't care if you like me or not,
because it's better to be hated
for who you are
than loved for who you're not !!!

That's the way how one of my couchsurfing friend describes himself :))) and this is the way how I feel about me at the moment :D
Don't care if you like me or not - I just need the freedom to be who I am - still searching and finding but so what ... I keep telling myself that it's just part of my developing process and most of the time believe my story :D

Crazy idea

Yesterday, just like that, got the crazy idea which felt so right straight from the beginning... made some phone calls already in the evening, some more today - we will see what will happen next !!?? Inshallahhhhh :)))

Yes, I´ve been disappeared for a while.
No, haven´t stopped writing - just use my notebook again - quite a lot actually.
Yes, all this school stuff takes so much more time & energy than I expected.
Yes, there are quite many mornings when I´ve woken up at 5 in order to get everything done.
Yes, some of my things are still unpacked, even though have been home almost 2 months.
Yes, my room is total mess - have no motivation to organise it.
Yes, my life is even bigger mess - no idea how to organise it :)))
Yes, our house in general is a great place to live in.
Yes, love the sauna and those big rooms where we have enough space for ourselves and our visitors.
Yes, those 7 weeks back in Est0nia have changed me so much - inside and out !!!
Yes, sometimes regret my decision to come back but it is already done, so ...
Yes, living back home is little bit more difficult than I could have imagined.
Yes, we still get along just fine - we are just too independent and too strong personalities to share the same house and energy field every day :D
Yes, Im not the happiest person in the world at the moment.
Yes, I´ve done lot of thinking recently and try to change it - not that thinking would help:D
*
No, I´m not sure what will come out of this but I will find out pretty soon, won´t I ?
*
Any other questions why I haven´t been writing my blog at all?
Or what have happened recently? :)))

Peale surutud

Kiirus
.
.
peale surutud
.
.
müra
.
.
peale surutud
.
.
vale
.
.
peale surutud
.
.
vägivald
.
.
peale surutud
.
.
mulle mu enese poolt
.
.
.
aita mind lootus mu sees
*
.
A poem from one picture at school. Wanted to ask the girl who is the author, where did she get it, but forgot. I had passed this picture several times when one day I stopped and read those lines with some kind of weird recognition inside of me !!! I wonder why :D
.
Morning sunrise, driving way too fast for those roads, sunglasses, tears in my eyes behind those dark glasses, radio playing really loud "winner takes it all..."

good-bad-happy-sad.
.
Today made up my mind at least in one area of my live - should have done it already a while ago. Doesn't feel good at all but hopefully will get better soon. Only some more areas to go :)))
*
after that "accidentally" found one comment from my blog which refers into another webpage
Also found Liva's quote which I wrote down few years ago while living in England.

"There is no place better. It is better if you are better"

so... so what? No idea, but so what :))

One of my closest friends called me after very long time. Her honest opinion is that I'll get the hell out from this country again as soon as I can because Estonia, especially Lihula, is way too small for me and my "Nirvana" search :)))
Well, yeah, what can I say. My first thought - what will happen if this "Nirvana" doesn't exist after all?

On the river

Small boat with engine ... in the middle of wild nature, birds and animals ... beautiful :))) River so-so much wider than normally.
Sometimes need to hold my head down to protect myself from branches.
*
Walked back almost 1 hour through forest with wet feet because of the hole in my boots.
*
Uuesauna was on my way home and stepped in - nobody there, saw sign instead "Läksin metsa". No pen, no paper to leave a note, so, took some wierd grass kind of thing and made a heart into the door to let him know that someone has been there.
*
Feel unfocused and distracted in so many ways - totally understand the students who are saying that they don´t want to go to school anymore, because it is so nice outside ... so often feel the same.
The only difference is that I will not get a bad mark if my homework is not done :D Well, to be honest, it is never completely undone, but very often feel that it could have been made so much better.

Health is wealth

Went Pärnu to bring my second grandmother back from hospital.
-
Blue hospital slippers on top of my boots.
-
1 crutch in my hand and also her jacket.
-
There she is, lying there, feeling both - happy and sad
-
I look around: patients in all kind of different situations.
-
"Look, mom, this is your hand, you need to love this hand that it would work again! Say to your hand that you love it!" says one older lady to her mother who seems to even understand a little bit, but is not able to talk back to her. Still makes some kind of noise to show that she tries to answer.
-
Nurses and doctors busy in every corner.
-
X-ray for my health whatever paper took 2 minutes.
-
Walking out from hospital, my granny leaning on me ... she is 77 ... taking small baby steps at a time, because of the gyps which she has.
"Life is strange" I find myself wondering, "it really is true that most of us start and end it in the same way - being almost completely helpless".
-
Not sure who has said it, but one sentence which I heard a while ago came into my mind "Life is just a small cap between 2 numbers"
-
After today
so happy that Im able to breath, understand and walk without problems.
*
No doubt that health is the biggest wealth in this world.
Yeahhhh, so, what the f..ck am I complaining and whining about :)))

Slowly, slowly

... but Im getting better, much better. Thank you Kadi for today's "counceling" through Skype - really appreciate those 2 hours of chatting and laughing like crazy.
It doesn't matter the country or continent, we all are much closer to each other than we realize, right?! About all those ideas and thoughts, well, let's say that Im more than sure that Universe will co-operate gladly:)))
*
Mom has been home for few days, love it ... we all made fire together today. When I look at her, there is no doubt where my "fire burning" genes come from :D
Had extremely different weekend. Lot of people here: grandmother, aunt, Lembit and one surprise quest - Andres from Argentina.
This is amazing Couchsurfing which is bringing the world into our home. It is my/our pleasure to just pay it forward which I have experienced through this opportunity while traveling by myself.
It is even hard to imagine how could someone walk like Andres has - almost 6 months and 1300 km, sleeping mainly in his tent, especially during this winter like we had this year - unbelievable, it really is !
Total respect and have a nice walk to Kaliningrad.
*
Yesterday, when all the guests were gone, we just slept and kind of hibernated almost all day.
In the evening we had a family visit into Meigo's place. Group hug in the dark front-yard in the middle of the forest at 22:00, everyone wearing long rubber boots because mud and water everywhere - well, otherwise we are pretty average and normal family :D

Decide

Jap, so true

Today's note from the Universe couldn't be more true about me :)))) scaaaaryyyyy :D

Aha! Kristi, do you know what your thoughts did last week?!
*
Oh, yes you do.
*
They became the things and events of this week. The things you thought would be difficult became difficult; easy became easy; boring became boring; and fun became fun. Where you thought there might be surprises, you were surprised. And where you thought there might be land mines, there were land mines.
*
Bravo! You can add this week to the list of your most creative accomplishments.
Now, can you guess what your thoughts this week are going to do?
*
The Universe

Spring is taking over :)))

Spring is in the air: birds are taking over the sky, snow is disappearing with unbelievable speed and water is breaking itself free - finally. Saw even the first snowdrops /lumikellukesed:/
*
Big pieces of ice in the river, trying to find their way ahead, kicking and pushing each other.
Boots full of snow I was lying on a fallen tree, watching the sky, listening the sound of the river and thinking ... no idea what or why I´ve been up to lately and you know what - don´t care much, because, even it wasn´t the best decision, the good news is that I can always change it. May-be spring was taking over in this case toooooo :)))
*
Baked another cake which is almost finished, because it was a small one, quite good one and it was three of us, so .. :D

Sk8er Boi

He was a boy
She was a girl
Can i make it any more obvious
He was a punk
She did ballet
What more can i say
*
He wanted her
She'd never tell secretly she wanted him as well
But all of her friends
Stuck up their nose
They had a problem with his baggy clothes
*
He was a skater boy
She said see you later boy
He wasn't good enough for her
She had a pretty face
But her head was up in space
She needed to come back down to earth
*
5 years from now
She sits at home
Feeding the baby she's all alone
She turns on tv
Guess who she sees
Skater boy rockin up MTV
*
She calls up her friends
They already know
And they've all got
Tickets to see his show
*
She tags along
Stands in the crowd
Looks up at the man that she turned down
*
He was a skater boy
She said see you later boy
He wasn't good enough for her
Now he's a super star
Slamming on his guitar
Does your pretty face see what he's worth?



http://www.allavril.com/Sk8erboi.shtml

Where did this song come so suddenly?
Well, finally started to prepare my lessons for next week (semester:) and this is the song from the student book of 7th grade...actually, this is the page we should go through tomorrow - read the lurics from there and realised that in some way this is a message for me :D
.... my head has been and still is also up in space and I really need to come back down to earth in order to keep at least something which/who I love.

Deja vu

... my own thoughts and emotions are so fu...ing powerful that it is absolutely grazy ... have done a lot of harm to myself with those 2 "things" during the last week.
Often feel like being back in the BEGINNING where I was few years ago. Same people and situations, even very similar reactions and behaviour - what the f..ck is this?
Deja vu?
Another lesson to learn?
Totally aware that all I need is a small shift of my own thinking and little bit better attitude towards everything, but at the moment don´t feel like that.
*
One more thing. I really need to end up living according to other people´s expectations.
That I feel like I should behave in a certain way, because so many people are counting on me.
So what that they do? I need to count on me first, learn to take care of myself before I try to "save the rest of the world".
*
Yes, I will be an English teacher for 2,5 more months, but that´s it - at least now I feel like that. If it would be the right occupation for me, it wouldn´t seem so difficult and almost impossible to prepare all those lessons. I haven´t been able to motivate myself even open one single book during this week, is it normal?
Tomorrow will be an "interesting" day, because there are no more days left where to shift my schoolwork which needs to be done.
Love the process of interacting with students and discussing about all kind of things, but can´t stand all this formality around language teaching and the fact that I also need to teach all the students who doesn´t give a s...t about learning :D
What about the youth house? Even though somewhere in the bottom of my heart feel like doing it, reality is that spending 8 o´clock from the morning to 8 o´clock in the evening in the middle of youngsters is way too much for me.
After such kind of days, feel like I´ve got nothing left, because I´ve given everything I have, so, seriously consider spening there only 1 day, max 2 days in a week or so, but we will see.
Today is definately NOT the right day to make these kind of decisions.

..in the middle of the night ... :)))

Because of the white snow and bright moon, it was possible to ski even at night-time.
Feels amazing when sliding in the middle of empty white fields under the night sky ... all those stars and a master moon ... everything in total silence. Snow sparkling in moonlight.
*
Went jogging in the morning - don´t remember when was the last time before that, but today it felt the most natural and right thing to do.
*
Blood donation - I do remember when was the last time :)))
*
Sat in the Turovski lecture for 2 hours ... lot of information, but also lot of fun - it is good to see and feel that somebody enjoys what he is doing so much as he does.
Yes, unbelievable, there are so many things to do in Lihula :D even too many ...
About me, yes, it was the day of being alive - well, better late than never, right? :))

Flying

I´m not flying, but the time is :))) It is absolutely crazy. Staring into the clock and what can I see ... midnight which means that it is already Thursday.
Where did all the rest of the week go :D? I have been like stoned (yes, I know, people also use this term after smoking hasish and stuff like that:) but I mean stoned in the way that all my life and actions have been paused for last few days. This time just like haven´t existed for me.
*
Made some hot drink, getting ready for bed ... all the thoughts and ideas ... started to read The Artist Way creativity book today which Kadi left me.
Wrote my first morning pages and if I understood correctly, this course will take 12 weeks, so, it will be 12 x 7 mornings of writing about everything and nothing in order to "open up" my creativity and True Self :D inshallahhhh :)))

Sweet dreams my darling stoned Kristi ...
*

PS! It is 1:55 at night. Jap, still awake. "Found" some kind of magic power and cleaned up my room - finally. Jap, it was a mess, bad one. Kadi moved out, I moved in and addition to that we emptied our big cupboard in order to trag it into the other side of the room.
Situation was so bad that I had almost no free space to step ... without talking about finding anything. Now the room is far from perfect, but so-so much better. Respect for this night cleaning, but get to bed now, alright !!! :))))

Ela nii, nagu oleks paradiis maa peal !

Tööta nii, nagu ei vajaks sa mingit raha!
Armasta nii, nagu poleks keegi sulle kunagi haiget teinud!
Tantsi nii, nagu keegi ei näeks!
Laula nii, nagu keegi ei kuuleks !
Ela nii, nagu oleks paradiis maa peal!

*

Work like you wouldn't need any money!
Love like nobody would ever hurt you!
Dance like nobody's watching !

Sing like nobody's listening !

Live the way like there would be paradise on Earth !

/luuletus, mille pabertüki peal Riine käest sain, peale seda, kui ta oli telefonitsi selle Maretile ette lugenud:/

Lazyness

Some kind of Urban Dictionary says that lazyness is the state of being lazy.

My own defination which I invented today :D looks like that.
LAZYNESS - state of being when even pleasant things or activities seem too hard (almost impossible:) to do.
I know it, because this is the state where I´ve been during last 24 hours or somethink like that. Finally, at 7 o´clock in the evening I motivated myself enough to go out and get some fresh air. That´s a big accomplishment for me at the moment.
Found myself wondering that may-be, actually most probably, it is not wrong to be sooooo lazy sometimes - just - the problem is that Im not able to enjoy being in the state of lazyness because I feel like wasting my precious time :DDD and the more I think like that, the deeper I feel myself "falling".
Ohhh, my goosssshhh, I should be doing this or well, I could do that .... all these kind of statements in my head are driving me grazy sometimes. Kristi honey, why can´t you just be and realx - you are totally aware how effectivly you are able to work or act if need. It just means that there is no need at the moment, so, take your time and go slowly or don´t go at all if you don´t feel like.
But what can I do if I feel that there is so much to do ??? Like really, too much to do and that´s why Im not able to anything :))) Lot of questions in my mind. Will start cooking again. Have done it quite often lately.
On the other day, before sauna, I was in the cooking mood :D and that´s why I just made one thing after another. Today, when Im in a mood of doing nothing :)), I better bake something.
Funny, how my mind works ... well, may-be not so funny but rather "amazing" :D
*
This "one thing after another" expression which I used before reminds me one sentence from Tolle audiobooks where he says that for many people
LIVE IS JUST ONE DAMN THING AFTER ANOTHER !

Foto: http://www.funnypictures.net.au/images/lazyness-just-because-you-have-to-doesnt-mean-you-1.JPG

Buzzzzzz ...

Life is like a rollercoaster, sometimes rolling itself uphill, sometimes other way around.
Well, the weekend was quite intense and grazy (in a good way:) that no wonder Im feeling exhausted for now.
Tired, so, so tired and I know the more I focus on that, the more tired Im going to feel and actually all it is, is not enough good sleep...so, let's focus on other things, won't we?
Like what? ... to be honest, the moment I felt like organising my life little bit better - outside and inside - and it actually seemed that Im quite good in it - pretty much everything turned out so much differently than I had expected.
Quess what, life is life ! Full of challenges and and and ... not even sure how to say it. Just, kind of frustrating how easily the old habitual thinking, acting patterns and people from my past are able to take over. The minute I already thought and felt - jeee, I got it ... I understood that there is still such a long way to go.
Am I depressed? ... well, little bit I quess ... even though the more exact words are tired and confused. It is kind of unbelievble how easily the way to see "the world" can change depending the way how I have decided to think or how my inner monologue looks like:)))
Sometimes I find myself wondering how much easier it would be to blame everybody and everything else ... but unfortunately don´t believe in blaming others :D
*
Like now, after spending few minutes outside, taking some deep breaths, looking into the clear night sky full of stars and thinking how grateful I am for this life ... everything seems so much different. So, actually I know what and how should/could I do when I feel low, but knowing itself is never enough.
*
There are so many things, people and circumstances to be grateful for...doesn´t matter what is going on in general.
Yesterday, when sitting in this toilet which Meigo built next to this house in the middle of the forest. Toilet without the door and that´s why with an excellent view :))))) ..everything was so totally quiet and sooooo beautiful, nature is something which is hard to describe.
Jap, these are small things which make us happy, small daily things, but I still kind of wait for "something special" to happen. Why? What for?

Teki sees keras ... language will change Est-Eng:))

Jap, tehtud ... pea 3 nädalat kooliõpetaja ametit ja muud kodumaal aseldamist on selja taha jäänud. Lõpuks on see käes - vaheaeg ! :))) Mis sest, et ma juba esmasp minust eile maha jäänud materjalide lademeid sortima lähen ja uut õppeveerandit vaikselt ette valmistama hakkan, aga ikkagi :D
Uskumatu, kuidas ma seda ootasin. Eelkõige seepärast, et saaks kasvõi oma sügisel kokku pakitud riided lõpuks aidas olevatest kastidest ja kottidest välja otsida või siis, et oleks aega/võimalust lihtsalt maha istuda ning mõelda, mis ja kuidas edasi?
Mõtted saavad ju varem või hiljem teoks, nii et ses osas on ju vaja aega, et neid mõtteid natukenegi valida :D

Siin ma nüüd olen, tugitoolis, teki sees keras ...olesklen niisama, UURIN ning MÕTLEN.
Viimase nädala mõlgutused ning unistused on viinud mu nii kaugele, et jõudsin järeldusele - blogi kirjutamine on vaja ingliskeelseks teha :))
Ok, see ehk liialt resoluutne nõue, aga üldiselt küll - siia on paari aasta jooksul päris palju asju kirja saanud, aga natukene globaalsemalt mõeldes on siin ülivähe kirjatükke, mida ma enda nn portfoliona kasutada saaksin.
Anyway, lähitulevikus vaatan ning katsetan erinevaid asju ja püüan leida üles enda tugevamad küljed, et neid siis arendama hakata.
*
Eesti keele mõistjad, ärge siis pahandage, kui ma kogu selle protsessi käigus end blogis inglise keeles väljendama hakkan.
Maailm on üks suur globaalne küla, mille enamik liikmeid mõistab inglise keelt ning praeguseks on lisaks tekkinud olukord, kus enam kui pooled mu sõbrad ei saa aru meie pisikese maa ja vähese rahva keelest.
Ning loomulikult, inglise keele õpetajana töötades ei tee ka enda keeleoskuse pidev täiendamine ja praktiseerimine üldse mitte paha, seda enam, et olen juba pikk aega soovinud seda keelt vabalt vallata - to become totally fluent in English:))) Ning mine tea ... ehk inspireerib see ka kedagi teist oma keeleoskust parandama või lausa keelt õppima!??
*
So, we will see what is going to happen or how it is going to be like. As most of my reading or listening materials have been and still are in English, it shouln´t be hard and actually -Im still amazwed how I managed to keep my blog in Estonian all the time while being abroad. So, now, being back here, it will change ... finally :D
Foto: http://www.vec.ca/images/Eng_Only_Please_01_LO.jpg

Well, it doesn´t mean that there will be no Estonian at all any more, but it means that here will be mostly English - at least for a while. The main reason doing so is to find out how fluently am I able to express all the thoughts and experiences which I have and which kind of writing style do I have if I write in English?

*
Like many people know and have noticed - I love, love writing. For me, the easiest way to express myself is to do it in a written way. It doesn´t matter that actually I still have almost no clue about English punctuation :))) ... but I can always learn it I suppose.
Never the less, the fact is that writing really is and always have been the activity which I really really enjoy and second of all - I need my freedom to choose the place and time where and when do I "work".
Yes, Im totally aware that time management and self-dicipline are not the easiest qualities to aquire, but allowing somebody else (like a boss:) to tell me what and how should I do with my time is also not the best option:D
One of my goals for 2010 is to find out what I am good at and start doing it. In the same time loving what I do and doing what I love, so, we will see ... inshallahhh :)))
*
Did some research, trying to find out what my options would be if I will finish working as a teacher in June. Even if they want me to continue, something inside me doesn´t agree with it. Despite the fact that I´ve actually enjoyed my time at school in most days, I feel it is not "my thing".
Found quite many interesting sites which I definately want to investigate in more detail - who knows, may-be I happen to recognise "my thing" :D or at least get some inspiration and new thoughts. Yes, earning money is one goal, because I need some sometimes :))) but finding out how could I live my life the way I like, is the most important thing.
*
I really believe that the moment Ive discovered "my way" - the reason why I am here in this Earth, what Im good at and what is it which I can "give" to others ... the money will come as a result of it. Making lot of money sure isn´t my need or desire number one. If I wrote down my three main ideas/dreams, there were 3 BIG topics with 3-4 subheadings and "financial freedom" was the last subheading under the topic "I know what I am good at and what I want to do".
Also, I feel like explaining what financial freedom is for me. It is not being a millionaire - even though I might end up as one :)) - being free to do what I want with people who I like ...to go where ever I want without feeling:
"Ohhhh my God, I can not go there or do that, because first of all, I have no free time, next holiday will be after 10 months (well congratulations:) and to be honest, I have no free money also, because we have a big loan, all those bills. I spend most of my time at work witout liking it very much, actually, very ofter I kind of even hate it. I wish I could quit my job, but I can´t, cause I NEED my salary, I NEED money to pay off all my financial responsibilities".
Well, like Kiyosaki is writing (and he is right) the more we NEED, the weaker we are. The NEED and the FEAR stop us to live the life we actually dream of. But this is the only life which we have -at least at the moment, so ... GO FOR IT !
If I don´t succeed, well, quess what, I can try as many times as I like :D
You can do the same, we all can do it, but the thing is that most people are too stuck and busy with their lives that they don´t have the time to think - WHAT DO I REALLY WANT ?
WHAT do you really want, do you know that? I also don´t know exactly, but I sure am on my way to find out :)))
*
www.ehow.com/how_2049123_earn-money-writing.html
http://209.85.229.132/search?q=cache:x77JYFo4bL8J:www.squidoo.com/earn-money-to-write+write+and+earn+money&cd=1&hl=et&ct=clnk&gl=ee
http://www.work-at-home-income.org/?gclid=CO23_6_cx6ACFZlg4wodjj0cbA
http://www.ehow.com/how_5775032_earn-passive-income-writing.html
http://www.smartdataentry.com/
http://theromancewriterslife.com/
http://www.squidoo.com/make-money-writing?utm_campaign=direct-discovery
http://ezinearticles.com/?Earn-Money-Writing&id=354168
http://www.writing-jobs.net/
http://www.directfreelance.com/register.aspx?url_entry=DFWritingJobs3&gclid=CMvH7JajyaACFUKZ2AodQ2HUew
http://www.activeonlinejob.info/

Louise Hay

Kõik, mis teen ...

...teen iseendale. Ometi kipun seda niiiiiiiiiiiii sageli unustama !!!
Ma olen ülimalt usin ja kohati peaaegu asendamatu, kui miskit tegema hakkan, ent tahaplaanile jääb kõike olulisem - MINA ISE.
Kui ma enda eest ei hoolitse, siis pole mul peagi teistele enam midagi anda:)) Hoolitsemise all pean ma silmas kõike, alates piisavalt magamisest, õues olemisest, lõpetades kirjutamise, lugemise ja muude asjadega, mida hea meelega teen.
See, et oehhh, mul on nii kiire, et mul pole isegi aega korralikult süüa teha või pool tundi lugeda või tunnikeseks koeraga metsa minna ... tegelt ma tean, et see on täielik bullshit jutt. Lihtsalt, mingeid mõtte- ja käitumismustreid on niiiiii raske muuta, et sageli on kergem alla anda ning isegi mitte proovida.
Respect nende suhtes, kes ennast ja oma aega sedasi planeerida suudavad, et rahul ja õnnelikud on
*
Eile, ahjusuu ees istudes ja tulle vaadates lasin oma fanataasial vabalt lennata ning tuli justkui mingi ettekujutus, mida TEGELIKULT teha tahaksin, aga inshallahhh - ei hakka miskit ära sõnuma.

Ideede tulv

Magan keskmiselt 5-7 tundi ööpäevas - see on minu jaoks ilmselgelt liialt vähe. Täna on lootust, et lähen mõistlikul ajal voodisse, jap, seda ma teengi - arvatavasti :D
Nii palju ideid ja mõtteid on, et aega tundub kogu aeg napilt olevat, kuigi usun endiselt seda, et kokkuvõttes on tegu ainult illusiooniga.
Vahest on tund aega niiiiiiiiiiiiii pikk aeg, mil saab miljon asja tehtud-mõeldud. Teisel hetkel on tund aega vaid üks hetk - neid näiteid on lõputult ning eks igaüks ole seda aja võlu ja valu omal nahal kogenud.
Mul on koolipäevadega sedasi, et kuigi juhtub miljon asja, läheb asi sisuliselt ühe hingetõmbega algusest lõpuni - enne, kui arugi saan, ei ole kell enam 6:00, mil ärkasin, vaid 15:10.
Uuuuuh, järjekordne mega intentsiivne päev selja taga. Klassiruum soojast kevadpäikesest üles kuumenenud ja lämbe.
Ma võin neid tunde anda, aga peaksin tõesti endale kellegi appi võtma, kes tunde ette valmistaks ning hiljem neid lademetes töid parandaks:))
Vaatamata sellele, et olen täiskohaga õpetaja, on mu mõtted viimastel päevadel täiskohaga noortemaja juures olnud ... laup õhtul, kui olin 2 klaasi reede õhtust järele jäänud shampust ära joonud, tuli inspiratsioon ning kirjutasin noortemaja blogisse asjadest, mis mul peas keerlesid ... mitte et see shampus siin mega asjaosaline oleks olnud, aga mine tea :)))
http://noortemaja.blogspot.com/2010/03/lihula-noored-on-fookuses.html

Pühapäeva hommikul, kui kell 8 silmad lahti tegin, "tekkis" justkui iseenesest järgmine kirjatükk - sel korral mõeldud vallavanemale ja kultuurinõunikule.
Noored vist on jah üks minu kirgesid ja nendega tegelemine asi, mida mulle tõesti meeldiks teha ..vähemalt nendest kirjutamine kindlasti on :DDD ... formaalne koolisüsteem, kus praegu olen, pole siiski päris minu ala :)))
Samas, seni, kuni ma veel finantsiliselt vaba pole :DDD on vaja siiski vabatahtlikus korras peetava noortemaja kõrvale midagi, mis sisse tooks. Ratsionaalne-majanduslik mõtlemine väidab vähemalt sedasi või nii, kuigi elu on minu silmis kõike muud kui ratsionaalne:D
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Nii et võib-olla vaja lasta enda organiseerimistuhinatel natukene vaibuda ning vaadata, kuidas asjad omasoodu kulgevad, võib-olla loksuvad "iseenesest" suurepäraselt paika... samas, minu kirjast ajendatuna on homseks noortemajja ümarlaud kokku kutsutud - hmm, nii palju siis enda asjasse mitte segamisest :))