Be available

Paulo Coelho´s FB update from today

‎"Be available! (Soyez disponibles!)" said the priest in the Midnight Mass yesterday, at Eglise Sainte-Thérèse, Geneve.
This is the best synthesis I ever heard of the Christmas spirit.
Let's be available so the Lord can use us to perform miracles, available to our brothers and sisters, available to ourselves and to our dreams.

Jõulud

Palju taasnägemisRÕÕMU

Tallinn
Kallid inimesed
Südamest südamesse jutud
Kodutee
Lumesadu
Lihula
Noorte rõõmsad näod
Konsum nagu Konsum ikka
Isa soe kallistus
Mu kullakene, punane auto
Autosõit läbi sumesaju ja raadios vastav laul - esimene kord sel aastal, kui jõulutunne reaalselt hinge poeb :)



Kirikuküla
Lumesadu
Panen raadio nii kõvaks kui saan
Kaugelt hakkavad paistma KODU tuled
Raadiost tuleb Dagö Joonistatud mees



Torre metsik rõõmutants

Soojad toad ja küdev saunaahi

Jalutuskäik pimeda õhtu valgel külateel

Kuldse Kolmiku energiaring

Saksa poisi muinasjutu kirjutamise lugu

Kasevihtadega laval

Soe flanellpidzaama ning paljad jalad

Selge tähistaevas ja karge õhk

Suur jõulutäht aknal säramas

Lõputu taevalaotus ja sama ääretu tänulikkus hinges

Jap, see on nüüd taas rohkem kui kindel - ei ole väga vahet, kus olla - olulised on inimesed meie ümber ja kõik see, mida oleme võimelised ja valmis omavahel jagama !!!

"Kodu see ei ole koda, millel aken, uks.

Ilma kodutundeta me jääme kodutuks"

... AITÄHHHHHHHHH kõigile selle sooja kodutunde eest, mis mulle täna alates Tallinnas maandumise ajast osaks on saanud.

Maybe this time?

TODAY

7 am in Williamsville. Last checking if I took everything I need? From my short glance to the direction of the table, there is my passport, kind of screaming out from other things but I´m thinking: "No, there´s no point to take it along becayse my ID card will be enough!"

8 am Walk from car park to Dublin Airport. What a lovely morning it is!

8.20 am security gates - all is well, no hair clips or belts causing beeping today.

8.35 am everything is ready for boarding, travel documents and boarding pass - both put aside that I´d be able to reach them easily when needed

8.45 am standing in the boarding queue when I suddenly realise that I can´t find my ID ??? No, no, it can´t be happening because I had just put everything ready and it was right here a moment ago. Maybe I did put it into the pocket? No, nothing. Maybe I accidentally put into the side of the suitcase, maybe, maybe ... nothing.

I have lost my ID and I don´t have my passport which means that unless I´m able to find my ID or am able to organise the transportation of my passport during next 35 minutes which is left until departure, I AM NOT ABLE TO FLY TODAY!!!

I apologize and find my way out from the queue in order to turn my things upside down and track back my steps during the last 10 minutes since I last remember having my ID.

"Jesus Christ Kristi, don´t you ever learn? It was only 2 years ago when in the aiport of Malaga, you were able to lose both - your boarding pass and passport before the departure. Yes, this story had a very fortunate ending but don´t you think it makes sense not to repeat the same stupidity? Not to try your luck again?"

Yes, yes, this time, I promise, I really do, I will never ever give myself even an opportunity to misplace either of those 2 important things - 2 things nobody wants to lose in the airport?

BUT at the same time I need to face the reality that it seems that I have lost my ID ... it is not on the floor where I was standing before, it is not in the toilet either ... At the same time I try to think if it makes sense to call mum and ask her to drive home really fast to get my passport? Even though my mind is doing everything else but thinking straight, I make a clear decision it is better not to disturb her at work because probably the 20 minutes wouldn´t be enough anyway and I definitely don´t want her trying to drive as fast as possible.

8.54 am After stepping out from the toilet, from the last place I was hoping to find my ID, I conclude, having cold swet running down along my spine, that maybe not flying is not so bad option after all?

Maybe Christmas have something else in their mind for me?

Having thought that, I look straight ahead and on one chair I notice a familiar piece of plastic - my ID ! Someone must have put it there because I didn´t sit on that chair - at least I don´t remember doing so even though by now, I wouldn´t exactly bet on my own memory :)

But I do sit now and take a deep breath in ... I realise I´ve hardly been breathing at all during last 8-9 minutes, only swetting and being really upset because it was only my own lack of attention which had caused all this spinning around and which almost made me miss my flight?

However, by now I feel really lucky and fortunate of being able to join the queue again soon. Another thing is that the flight is being half an hour delayed, so, all those peole are standing there in their long long queue but as for me, the place I´m getting is absolutely irrelevant, extremely grateful for qualifying to get on board at all :), I just sit back and relax - letting myself to cool down a bit.

9:40 On board, there is an elderly gentelman, asking if the place between me (sitting in aisle) and between window seat, where is one man, is available.
He squeezes himself into the seat in the middle and off we go. However, Im glad he did so because he turns out to be a chatty, open and very interesting companion for the next 3 hours. Originally from South Africa, being moved into the farm in Northern Ireland 11 years ago, he is now going to visit his son´s family in Finland for Christmas.
Also, the other man from the window seat, even though almost completely quiet for an hour, seeming even bit arrogant at first glance, suddenly opened his mouth and ordered teas/coffees for all our row?? Well, this thing has never happened to me on a plane before?

Another lesson from today, in addition to the one that ALWAYS KEEP YOUR BOARDING PASS AND ID SAFE, is that never ever prejudge because he turns out to be a great guy and the last 2 hours we were having a conversation group of 3. He is aprx 50, from UK but living in Ireland now and has an Estonian girlfriend who he visits 5-6 times per year.

Woooooowwww, Auuuchhh - there are few moments with really strong turbulence and the plane kind of falling for few seconds. So much so that even the members of the cabin crew freak out for a moment, without talking about passengers.
I feel how my knees are shaking and I find myself thinking: "So, that´s why my ID card tried to prevent me from flying today?"

Some passengers need glass of water and one woman is crying but other than that - soon enough we are all back to normal. The jokes of my neighbours help me to "recover" from those 10 seconds of "what if ..." and by the end of the flight we are all waiting for each other, walking together through Tallinn airport, expressing hope to meet again.

"So, that´s why my ID wanted me to get on board among one of the first but among last people?" and I conclude that everything really does happen for a reason and I suppose it is so true that out of every situation, only good will come - just, this good may not be quite visible in the beginning. Lol

Vanaema malenupus

Täpselt nädalapäevad tagasi istusin mamma hoovi peal asuvas garaazis ja ajasin temaga juttu. Mis sest, et kõik, mis temast tänaseks alles, on tuhk malenupukujulise urni sees?
Garaaziukse jätsin enda järel igaks juhuls lahti, sest mingil imelikul kombel oli suht suur aukartus, peaaegu et hirm, selle urni ees.

Istusin ja vaatasin seda enda ees kõrguvat, umbes 30 cm kõrgust malenuppu ning mõtlesin, et täiesti lõpp ikka (otseses mõttes lõpp) - terve elu ta tegutses ja toimetas ja möllas ringi nii, kuidas vähegi oskas ja sai - ning nüüdseks on see kõik läinud, läinud oma igavikulisele teele, jättes järele vaid tuha malenupus ??? Samas, võib-olla ei ole midagi läinud ega kadunud, võib-olla elu muutis lihtsalt oma vormi.
Teisalt jättis ta endast ju nii palju järele, k.a meie kõik, nii et selles mõttes elab ta ju edasi :)
Usun järjest enam, et me kõik oleme tulnud siia ilma looma ja sünnitama - kes uusi inimesi siia päikese alla, kes muusikat, kes kirjandusteoseid, kes äri-impeeriume, kes erinevaid variatsioone kõigest eelnevast.

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Panin Google´sse sõna "malenupp", et siia kõrvale vastav sümboolika leida ning esimesel korral "Search" nuppu vajutades tuli rida mingeid sootuks muid pilte.
Ühel, mis sealt esireast kohe silma jäi ja mida siin kõrval vasakul näha võib, ei ole male ega malenuppudega mitte kui midagi pistmist - küll aga võtab see suurepäraselt kokku selle tunde, mis mul seal garaazis istudes tekkis.

Tunde, et kui mul pole mitte kui midagi kaotada, sest lõpuks ei jää ka minust endast alles rohkem ega vähem, kui üks urnitäis tuhka, siis pole mul ka igapäevaselt oma elu elades tegelikult mitte kui midagi kaotada !?
Tulen ei kusagilt, lähen ei-kuhugi. Tulen tühjade pihkudega, lähen tühjade pihkudega. Et siis milleks kõik see vahepealne põdemine ???!!!
Selle nurga alt vaadates tundub kogu see elu kui üks näitemäng, kus publik saab kõike - kõhud kõveras naerda, vihast jalgu trampida ning suurest kurbusest pisaraid neelatada.
Tsirkust ja leiba, kas see siis ongi kõik, milleks tulime ???
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Mõtlesin, et mida tema praegu, sealt "teiseltpoolt", mulle öelda tahaks.
Lisaks proovisin ette kujutada, mis tunne võib olla nendel inimestel, kes tegelikult ka teispoolsuse sõnumeid vastu võtta suudavad?
Kuna mina seda (vähemalt hetkel mitte) kohe mitte ei oska, siis ma ei tea, mis ta mulle öelda tahaks, küll aga tean seda juttu, mida ma enda peas iseendale jutustasin - andsin endale taas lubaduse, mida endale korduvalt varemgi andnud olen.
Teen endast parima, et mõista seda, milleks ma siia maamuna peale olen sündinud. Julgeda olla see, kes ma tegelikult olen ja teha asju, mis mulle tegelikult korda lähevad.
Elu on liiga lühike, et selle kõigega oodata !!! Ma ei tea, kas ainult mulle tundub, aga see on justkui osa illusioonist - fakt, et me kõik teame, et meie aeg on limiteeritud, kuid kuna see mõte on nii hoomamatu, siis on kergem seda asjaolu lihtsalt ignoreerida ja mõelda, et KÜLL JÕUAB ... kunagi .... ühel päeval ... siis, kui ...

Aga MIS SIIS, kui seda ÜHTE PÄEVA enam ei tulegi ??
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Head teed Sulle Mamma, kus iganes Sa praeguseks ka ei ole !!! Kerget lendu Sulle - ei oskagi öelda, miks, kuid mulle tundub, et Sa lendad kusagil :)))

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Teist korda Google pildiotsingusse "malenupp" sisestades tulid ...üllatus-üllatus ... malenupud, kuid esimene pilt tundus selle olukorra ilmestamiseks siiski oluliselt õigem, mis sest, et otsingus midagi valesti läks :) Nii et ju siis Keegi Kusagil Kõrgemal teab paremini kui mina või Google ???? Ma tean, palju küsimärke ??????? täna, kuid mis seals ikka.